More than a Feeling
by StBridget
Summary: Steve tells Danny what he thinks of Danny after Danny returns from Columbia. Tag to 5.19, Pono Kaulike. McDanno pre-slash.
1. Chapter 1

Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Steve McGarrett watched his partner Danny Williams being wheeled off the plane from Columbia on a stretcher. Even from a distance, Danny looked broken, and Steve's heart ached, wishing he could do something. He'd wanted to be there when Danny was released from prison, but Joe had advised against it. The charges against Danny may have been dropped, but that didn't mean either of them would be popular in Columbia. So Steve had been forced to wait in Hawaii, counting the minutes until his partner returned.

Steve rushed to Danny's side. "Hey, how are you?"

Danny refused to look him in the eye, turning his head away. "I'm fine."

"Fine?" Steve exploded. " _Fine?_ " He geared himself up for a rant that would do Danny proud. "You've been beaten. You've got bruises pretty much every place I can see, plus the doctor said you have cracked ribs, bruised kidneys, bruised spleen, and just about everything else external and internal that can possibly be bruised."

Danny raised a hand to stop him. "I'm _fine_ ," he insisted.

Steve opened his mouth to go off on Danny again, but Danny looked so pitiful lying there he didn't have the heart. Instead, he reached out a hand to touch Danny, but Danny flinched away. "Oh, hey, I'm sorry. Bruised. Right. That means no touching, I guess."

The paramedics began to wheel Danny off, and Steve moved to follow him, only to be stopped by a motion from Danny. "No."

Steve was shocked. "But Danny. . ."

Once again Danny refused to look at him. "I just want to be left alone right now."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later, Steve stepped into Danny's hospital room. Danny had refused to see him, and he'd been banned from the ER, but he couldn't bear to leave. He had to see Danny, had to touch him, had to know he was alive and would be okay.

"I told you to leave me alone," Danny said from the bed, voice tired but angry.

Steve ignored him and went to stand by the bed. "But _why_ , Danny?"

For the third time that day, Danny turned away from him. "Because I don't need your pity."

Steve was genuinely confused. "Why would I pity you?"

"Because I'm a pathetic man who was too weak to stand up for himself, let himself get bullied into going to prison, and let himself get beaten up there. Because I was resigned to die in a foreign country. Because I _deserved_ to die."

Steve reached for Danny's hand, holding onto it even when Danny tried to pull away. "I don't feel pity."

"Then what _do_ you feel."

Steve took a deep breath, preparing to pour his heart out to this man who seemed to believe his life wasn't worth anything. "I feel respect for a man who put his family and friends above himself. I feel admiration for a man who was willing to sacrifice himself for their sakes, choosing to let himself be taken to a prison in a hostile country rather than let them suffer. I feel concern for a man who's hurting, physically and mentally. I feel worry that maybe his ordeal isn't over yet, and hope that it is and he will recover."

Danny looked awed. "Really?"

"Really."

"But I don't _deserve_ all that."

Steve clutched tighter at Danny's hand, trying to get him to see that he _did_ deserve it, that he was everything Steve said he was, and nothing that Danny felt at that moment.

"Yes, Danny, you do. More than any man I know. You were incredibly brave and selfless, and don't let _anyone_ convince you otherwise, especially not yourself."

"It's hard right now. But if you believe it, I guess maybe it might be true." He yawned.

"Get some sleep, Danny."

Danny nodded and closed his eyes. Steve remained by his bedside, holding his hand, until he thought Danny had drifted off. Then he continued his litany. "And I feel love, so much love for a man I can't live with out and thought I'd have to."

He felt a slight squeeze of his hand, but Danny's eyes remained closed. "I love you, too, Steve."


	2. Chapter 2

When Danny was released from the hospital, Steve drove him to see Grace. On the way, Steve grilled him again about his reasons for agreeing to the extradition. He was dismayed to hear Danny say again that he felt he deserved it. Steve thought he'd gotten through to Danny in the hospital, but apparently not. Steve tried again, but gave up when they got to Rachel's.

After Danny's visit with Grace, Steve drove him home. He followed Danny into the house and slammed the door angrily behind him.

"I don't ever want to hear you say again that you deserved that."

Danny turned to him, dejected. "It's true."

"No, it's not. I thought I told you that."

"I guess I'm just having a hard time believing it."

"What's so hard to believe?" Steve asked, incredulous. He couldn't believe Danny was still beating himself up. "You're a good man, a brave man, a man who was trying to protect his family. Why would you deserve to get beaten to death in a Colombian prison? What did you do to deserve that?"

Danny rounded on him, now angry as well. "I killed a man, Steve!"

"So did I!"

"That's different. Wo Fat was torturing you."

"I'm not talking about Wo Fat."

That stopped Danny. "Then who?"

"Hesse."

Danny was puzzled. "But you didn't kill Hesse."

"I thought I did."

"But that was different."

"How?" Steve asked. This was important. He really wanted Danny to see.

"Because Hesse was a psychopath who killed your father and was going to do everything in his power to destroy you and everyone you loved."

"And Reyes wasn't?" Steve asked softly.

Danny opened his mouth to retort, then closed it, clearly processing what Steve said.

Steve put his hands on Danny's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Reyes murdered your brother. He threatened Grace. He had his men try to kill you and me. You did the right thing."

"Then why do I feel I got what was coming to me?"

Steve unbuttoned Danny's shirt, exposing his still-bruised torso. "Listen to me, Danny. This was not what was coming to you. You didn't deserve this." He kissed one of the bruises. "Or this." Another one. "Or this." He continued working his way down Danny's torso, kissing each bruise in turn. "You didn't deserve any of these, and I would give anything to have been able to take them for you." He worked his way back up, finishing with a tender kiss to Danny's lips. "I love you, Danny Williams, and I don't ever want to hear you put yourself down."

Danny was stunned. He'd heard Steve's confession in the hospital, but he couldn't quite believe it. Now, hearing Steve declare he'd do anything for Danny, and treat him so tenderly, like he was something to be worshipped and cherished, instead of the broken, pathetic man Danny still felt like, Danny finally began to understand what Steve was saying.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'll try. I can't make any promises, because it's still hard to believe, but I'll try."

"That's all I ask." Steve kissed him again, pouring all his love into it, trying to make sure Danny understood the depth of his feelings. Danny kissed him back, doing his best to let Steve know he felt the same, and that maybe Steve was right. Maybe he didn't deserve to die in a Colombian prison. Maybe this was what he deserved.


End file.
